Some Moves Dont Work

Hitting on women is kind of like playing baseball. Sometimes you go 3-4 with a homer, sometimes you go 0-5 with 4 Ks. You hit slumps and it seems no matter what you do you cant get a hit. Other times your on fire and no matter where you make contact with the ball you get on base. I am in a slump.
Failed Attempt to Wingman
My roomate was attempting to hook up with a girl he met a previous night. I had the dubious honor of entertaining her fat friend. Me being Broseph Goebbels, the best wingmen in the biz, I had my work cut out for me. My roomate decided that he was going to make things more difficult. So what song does my roomate decide to play on the jukebox at the bar....Queen --- Fat Bottom Girl. Now this wouldnt be so bad..but as the song plays my roomate points out how he picked this song. Saying things such as: Klunge Rod! FAT BOTTOM GIRL yea!!!!!!!! I PICKED THIS!!!!! YEA KLUNGE ROD FAT BOTTOM GIRL THIS IS OUR SONG!! So as i sit there, with a fat girl, with fat bottom girls playing I decided the only move to make was...pretending I was watching a taped New England Revolution game. Nevertheless, he failed to hook up with his prize as fat girl and some other girl swooped her away before my roomate could attempt to close it out (baseball metaphor).

More Failed Attempts
I have a move called the picture move. Anytime a girl asks me to take pictures of her and her friends I jump in the picture afterwards. Great Icebreaker. Not tonight. I got the same look after trying this move that a person making a feeble attempt on hitting on someone would get. I also walked into a random house which ended up being filled with 8 girls and was told to get the hell out. Went up to a girl in my sport finance class and said hey are u in my sport finance class. She sarcastically replied yup, guess ill see you tuesday and laughed at me. The laugh was a "this is a pathetic attempt at hitting on me" laugh. Will be an interesting class Tuesday. Also got bested by a chadbro.

The Silver Lining
Even when you go 0-5 you can still help your team win. A guy dressed as Pee Wee Herman was calling an indian guy Samir. The Indian's guys name was not Samir. So obviously he got offended and slapped pee wee hermans phone out of his hand. I took Pee Wee aside and said "are you going to let that guy ron artest you." And Pee Wee said, "No!!." So him and his friend decided to pummell "samir" in the head with their fists. I was happy to have instigated. In any event it saved the evening. Hopefully I can break out of the mini slump.

Bonus Text
Roomate: My father said always eat whats in front of you (talking about the fat chick I had to wingman for)
Me: Its like when ur mom put the green beans in front of you I'll eat it but I dont have to like it